\nMy daughter got cut from the varsity volleyball team this fall. Having poured herself into that sport for the last four years and with dreams to even play in college, it was a blow of colossal proportions. Yet a virtual stranger who probably doesn\u2019t recognize the power she wields decided, \u201cNope. You\u2019re not good enough for me.”<\/p>\n

\u201cCuts\u201d are so aptly named, aren\u2019t they? It actually feels<\/em> like a physical cut: leaving one wounded, bleeding\u2026. in pain. And the injury didn\u2019t just end with Grace \u2013 her \u201ccut\u201d deeply wounded me and Paul as well. Maybe even worse. Nothing hurts us more than our children hurting\u2026 <\/em>Grace came home after cuts and while wrapped up in each other\u2019s arms we bled all over the couch together for a while. Eventually she smiled, got up, and said \u201cI have no more tears. I\u2019m tired\u201d and she went to bed.<\/p>\n

No matter how hard we parents try to create a justification for this indignation (blaming, shaming, name-calling, conspiracy-theory, etc.) the cold-hard reality of the situation, which we eventually have to come to terms with, is that our child was just told: \u201cYou are not worthy. You are not good enough. I did NOT choose you.\u201d That\u2019s the bald truth and it stings.<\/p>\n

By morning the sting had dissipated some and I was thankful I hadn\u2019t acted in haste and posted something nasty on Facebook or Twitter.<\/p>\n

But on the second day a miracle happened. It was a Saturday, which is a day traditionally OWNED by volleyball. But now, having a totally free Saturday, Grace, Yulisa and I chose to participate in a peaceful protest in Grand Rapids. Afterwards, we went out to a swanky coffee shop for tea and scones. We sat outside in the sunshine and faced the street and pretended we were Europeans. We talked about civil rights, civil duties, religious freedoms, and standing up for what you believe in. We talked about Thoreau, Rosa Parks, and MLK. We talked about making your life count.<\/p>\n

Between sips of chai, she gifted me with this: \u201cMom, I wouldn\u2019t trade this moment, this conversation, this day spent with you guys for anything. Not even volleyball.\u201d<\/p>\n

I wanted to say this: \u201cYou have no idea what this means to me, baby. No idea<\/em>. Having a terminal illness, I want to be so selfish with your time. Truthfully, I want it ALL. This sacred time with you girls beats cheering you from the side-lines, which is really no interaction at all, a million to one. Every time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead, I pondered those thoughts quietly and we three just held hands and wept a little.
\nAnd then we came up with an idea. We decided to begin a list of all the things she now COULD do because of the time reclaimed sans volleyball. Every one of us has been given only 24 hours in a day \u2013 and no one can say \u201cyes\u201d to everything. And while most people try to deny this, the truth is that whenever we say \u201cyes\u201d to something, it represents something else we are saying \u201cno\u201d to. Grace wanted to call out, and clearly identify what all those \u201csomething else\u2019s\u201d were in her life.<\/p>\n

On school nights and Saturdays when she would have normally been playing volleyball, she was now able to participate in a variety of incredible things \u2013 things not limited to, but including the following:<\/p>\n

\n
• Breakfast with her youth group leader<\/li>\n
• Sprawled out on her bed with Yulisa – sharing earbuds\u2013 giggling and listening to hours of music together<\/li>\n
• Dinner with long-time family friends discussing things like Middle-eastern and South-African politics, saving dating until college, and the role of the church with immigration \u2013 which required us to stay out way past midnight on a Friday night but not caring because we were going to SLEEP IN on a Saturday for once!<\/li>\n
• A day of boating\/tubing with her friends (friends that SHE chose, not whom volleyball chose FOR her)<\/li>\n
• Visiting her grandma at the nursing home<\/li>\n
• A family birthday celebration at a snazzy restaurant where no one was rushed and we gorged ourselves on bottomless sweet potato fries and drank root beer floats till we were dizzy.<\/li>\n
• Took a road trip with her siblings to see Ben Rector in concert in Detroit.<\/li>\n
• Cheered on her HS soccer team, tennis team and swim team \u2013 realizing if EVERYONE is a participant, then NO ONE is a spectator. And everyone enjoys playing more with spectators present.<\/li>\n
• Playing her guitar and singing with the praise team for her youth group.<\/li>\n
• Went \u201cthrifting\u201d with a dear friend and she found a $75 sweater for $5.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

  And this is only a partial list from the first couple of weeks\u2026.
  \nUpon reviewing that list, we came to a profound conclusion: It\u2019s as if God had an actual plan for her life all along, so perfectly tailored for Grace and her giftedness, that at this juncture, there simply wasn\u2019t time for volleyball anymore. It\u2019s as if, in God\u2019s brilliantly upside-down kingdom, He was saying, \u201cGrace, you didn\u2019t get cut<\/em>, you were chosen<\/em>!\u201d
  \nIt\u2019s not that volleyball is bad, it\u2019s just not the team Grace was chosen FOR.<\/p>\n

  \n
  • What if Grace\u2019s youth group leader composed a team? She\u2019d say, \u201cGrace! I choose<\/em> you!”<\/li>\n
  • What if Grandma made a team? She\u2019d day, \u201cGrace! I want you! You\u2019re chosen<\/em>!\u201d<\/li>\n
  • What if her friends made up a team? They\u2019d say, \u201cGrace! We choose<\/em> you!\u201d<\/li>\n
  • What it the community put together a team? A team of young go-getters who epitomize service to others? They\u2019d surely say, \u201cGrace, we want <\/em>you!\u201d<\/li>\n
  • What if our family was a team? (and I do believe we are) – We\u2019d raise our collective voices and say, \u201cGrace! Welcome back<\/em><\/strong> to our team<\/em>!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Yep – Grace got cut from volleyball. But look at all the teams that DID choose her!
    \nSo if you, or anyone you love, has ever been \u201ccut\u201d from a team – or the musical, or the band, or from a university, or the [insert thing that you wanted so badly but didn\u2019t get] \u2013 maybe we just need to ask a different question.<\/p>\n

    Maybe the question isn\u2019t, \u201cWhy did I get cut<\/em>?\u201d
    \nBut instead, \u201cFor what have I been chosen<\/em>?\u201d
    \n\u00a0<\/em>
    \n\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    My daughter got cut from the varsity volleyball team this fall. Having poured herself into that sport for the last four years and with dreams to even play in college, it was a blow of colossal proportions. Yet a virtual stranger who probably doesn\u2019t recognize the power she wields decided, \u201cNope. You\u2019re not good enough […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,20,27,36],"tags":[60,109,114,116],"yoast_head":"\n