When we bought our hundred-year-old crack house we discovered that somewhere in its history a previous owner made an egregious err in personal assessment and believed themselves to be “handy.” They tackled a variety of home improvement projects such as brick laying, replacing windows, updating trim and doors, installing sinks and faucets, and building closets. However, I’m almost certain my 6-year-old nephew could have done a better job.
We’ve had snow leak in through the ill-fitting windows, faucet levers that scrape the wall, crumbling brick and leaking roofs – all due to this “handypersons” handywork. We have gaping holes in our baseboards, incomplete and mismatched trim boards in every room and doors that were hacked down at the wrong angle in an attempt to accommodate unlevel floors.
Check it out:
I’ve seen young children make living room pillow forts and back-yard tree houses with better craftsmanship.
Initially, we figured we’d fix everything and be DONE with renovations once and for all. But as soon as the home was functional (as in, an operational kitchen, a door to the bathroom, and a place to flop a mattress) we were so exhausted from all the fixing-upping, that we simply halted the projects. We figured we’d wait a few months, restore our energy and excitement for a “completed” home, and then finish things.
That was 6 years ago.
It hasn’t been a matter of money, nor even enough time or energy. What’s held us up is this:
It’s extremely difficult to keep fixing-up your home when some neighbors are heating their home with their stove.
It’s hard to justify spending money on crown moulding and matching doorknobs (it’s not even arguable that these things are frivolous) when you pass multiple homeless people on your way to buy the materials.
It’s gut wrenching to spend about $800 on any project on our home when we’ve learned of multiple neighbors being evicted due to inability to make rent (typically around $800 in our neighborhood.)
We’ve repeatedly had the dilemma of choosing home improvements over “life improvements” of others.
So, six years later, our home is still not done.
Just because we can afford something doesn’t make it right.
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More importantly, in addition to the ethical battle of money stewardship, we noticed that waking up each day in a home marked by broken things, unfinished work, imperfections, and missing pieces, has helped to remind us that we live in an imperfect world, inhabited by imperfect people with imperfect lives.
The entire WORLD is broken and unfinished and only Jesus can fix this mess. So we began asking ourselves, why should our home reflect anything different?
In our former homes – both our country estate custom-built “dream home” and our downsized 70’s ranch in the burbs – everything was pretty, polished, working and stylish. We were very much in control in those homes and felt we had essentially achieved perfection. No brokenness, no problems, no worries.
In those dwellings and environments, it was much easier to forget about the pain and suffering in the world. It was easy to pretend (albeit subconsciously) that the world wasn’t broken. It was fun to live like that – without daily reminders of a suffering world. I often justified those “perfect” dwellings by asking – What’s wrong with making our homes a haven to rest from the weary world?
It seems to me that the only reason having a (near) “perfect” dwelling could be wrong is if it causes us to forget about those who are in desperate need of God’s love and care and/or if we ever forget that WE (those who believe in Jesus) are God’s plan to meet those needs (there is no plan B).
So if you, like me, love to watch HGTV and love to design, improve, and fix-up your home, maybe we should rethink things a bit.
Maybe we don’t need to fix everything to where it all looks “perfect.”
Maybe we should stop striving so much for beauty and completion.
Maybe we should let heaven be the only perfect home and accept some brokenness and imperfections in our earthly homes.
Maybe the broken things will actually help us stay tuned-in to the brokenness of our world and remind us to ask God for our role in its healing and restoration.
Maybe we should leave some things broken.
Such a wise and convicting article Cindy. You ask so many good and hard questions that we also struggle with. Though the answers are not all that difficult to understand in principle, the practice of doing so often reveals my selfishness and lack wanting to pay the price of compassion and love. Thanks for the word of accountability…
Thanks so much, Blaine. I never sit down to write and think, “How can I make people feel guilty?” That’s just gross and I don’t ever want to be that person – (please call me out if my writing leans that way!!!) But since I personally struggle with this all the time – of how best to spend my (our) limited time, money and energy – my assumption is that others must struggle with it, too. This old house has taught us a lot about living simply, living beneath our financial means, learning to accept imperfections and brokenness and finding contentment amidst less-than-ideal surroundings. We wouldn’t trade this old piece of crap for anything!!! (That doesn’t mean, however, that it doesn’t drive us CRAZY at times!!!)
I have to admit, at first I was giggling, because I was convinced, that my landlord, built your home. Of course, in reading the blog, in it’s entirety, many thought provoking concepts. All legitimate. Good read. Thanks again Cindy, for another look into your life, and seeing reflections…
Thanks for your feedback, Elizabeth! We’ve been in the homes of MANY rental units here in the city now and it does seem to be more the rule than the exception that landlords feel they can “fix anything” and will do a child-like hack job just to call it “done!” It’s so sad, though, isn’t it??? I have really, truly, lowered my standards on what my living conditions need to look like with this home. Holes, nails, gaps, broken window panes, sinking floors, leaky faucets, etc., etc., etc. – this is our normal now. And I’ve learned to actually love it. Never going back to new construction!!!
If you have health issues , children or a sence that safety is not equal to a home elsewhere, then moving is probably your answer. Gods also gives us wisdom and sounds like your either questioning or re-evaluating your decisions or you would not want feed-back.
Hey Carol! I don’t think Paul and I have ever regretted moving to this city or dealing with all of the headaches that come with a fixer-upper. Honestly, it’s one of the best decisions of our lives. Was it easy? Nope. Fun? Not necessarily. Financially prudent? Not at all. Safe? Not really. Comfortable? Heck no (we left a beautiful custom built home when we began this journey!) But was this decision good and right? Absolutely.
I asked for feedback because I’m wondering how other people deal with their homes, their environment, their own pursuit of beauty and comfort getting TOO MUCH of their mind-space as well as their time and energy. I wondered if other people wrestle with that as I do. I could watch HGTV all day long. I could fix, fuss, shop and beautify my home all day every day. But this is NOT at all how I want to spend my life – especially as I battle with a terminal illness and know my days are limited. I want to be ALL ABOUT people! Not things! And yet, the battle rages on inside me. So I had that idea recently to intentionally leave a few things undone in our home – just because it is a good reminder for me that perfection is unattainable and my pursuits were too costly (of my time and energy). Perhaps I’m alone in this struggle??? I’d love to know what others truly think!!!
Thanks for your input!
Beautiful thoughts. Not an easy route for carpenters and true handy people, however! You’d have to tie their hands. It is their passion to fix their own spaces. Like an art, or a puzzle. A deep satisfaction for them. Can’t tell you how many projects my hubby dreams up! It’s part of his connection to himself and his property. And maybe his Lord as well!
Oh I hear you, Laura! So true! I’m not all that handy, but I have a good eye for design and I can’t turn it off! It’s like an art project or me as well – or a puzzle – and also is deeply satisfying! My only point in this blog is to help me and others realize that the relentless pursuit of “fixing” all our temporary habitats here on earth AS A MEANS TO MAKE THINGS PERFECT is not a worthy use of our time and energies. That maybe it is good for us who fixate a bit too much on HGTV and all things “rehab and reno” to learn to let a few things go some of the time. I don’t know – maybe it’s just me – but I know I can often care TOO much about house projects and house things and I soon forget that people are always more important than things. I don’t want to spend more time with things than I do with people and leaving some things “undone” helps me to remember that the majority of people on this planet are also feeling very “undone” and that I could better help them instead.
I would argue that anyone that can do that with caulk is a true craftsman.😋
Hahaha! You make a great point, Ben!!! I stand corrected!!! xoxo
Love this! Great things to ponder. We have a 100+ year old house so ours also is full of imperfections! ( it seems like I’m noticing a lot more cracks in our ceilings lately…). Love the thoughts you shared in this article. Great reminder!
Thanks, Jayne! We just found a BAT in our finished-off attic! YEEEEEEK!!! I have such a love/hate relationship with this old house! But our neighborhood is simply THE BEST and when it all comes down to it – life is about PEOPLE and not THINGS…. So I guess we’ll stick with this old broken down “thing” of a house!!!
Yup. These old homes sure give us a lot of opportunities for sanctification, don’t they?! I think of your words here often. Of course, I’ve also found a lot of freedom to just fix a few things the right way to relieve some serious old house stress!
Hey friend and co-conspirator of my blogosphere… just responding to a bunch of comments on my latest blog post and thought I’d send you one, too, just to confirm recipients are getting notifications of responses! LOVE YOU!!!
Perfect, yes, notified via email! xoxo