Am I the truly the last one to the Rae Dunn Party? I have only recently discovered it’s magical lure when my sweet friend gifted me a mug engraved with“Sing” after she read my blog on how I’m struggling to sing.
Apparently, RD is the latest craze and people are clamoring and clawing their way to select stores and clandestine gas station rendezvous to get their hands on more of this imperfectly perfect pottery.
Now, much to my chagrin, I am too.
Days after unapologetically jumping that pottery bandwagon, I’m sitting in my car in the black, wee morning hours (which, if you know me, should already clue you in I’m no longer thinking rationally) waiting for Home Goods to open their doors so I can rush in and deploy some rusty high school basketball skills and “box out” any obnoxious Johanna Gaines wannabe’s so I can beat them to the latest installation of Rae Dunn goodness.
The longer I sit here in the parking lot, the more I feel something disturbing in my soul. I’m feeling queasy about this shopping virus I’ve caught. Honestly, the real me – the healthy me – knows this is not what I want to be about. It’s not what I want to do with my precious time. It’s not where I want to spend our money or my energies either.
Furthermore, I need more cute mugs about as much as I need another hysterectomy.
But as I wait in my warm car and contemplate all this I ask myself, “So if this is not who you want to be, then why are you really here, Cindy?”
I should be at home. I have a long messy list of people in real need waiting for me back home: several friends in the midst of difficult, serious trials who could all use a loving phone call, my junior-high discipleship girls begging for an afternoon of my time, my widowed mom needing a “check-in” because I just don’t do that enough, a friend in Morocco hoping for a call as she faces a mountain of paperwork in an attempt to move their family to Canada, and a hard-working-tax-season husband who I desperately needed to reconnect with over a lunch date. And the list goes on…
People. All these people who are important in my life. People I love dearly and care passionately about their wellbeing. But yet, I’m escaping the responsibility of caring for them to instead chase down some stupid Rae Dunn dishes.
Why?
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When our lives were flipped upside down – almost 20 years ago now – Paul and I prayed every day that our lives would better reflect that which we said we believed. Specifically, we wanted our lives to reflect that PEOPLE are always more important than THINGS. At that time, we knew we had been spending too much of our time on things (whether buying things, taking care of our things, saving for more things, scrolling and dreaming about things or just talking about our things) we KNEW this was not the way of the kingdom. So we fervently prayed God would flip that on its head.
For the most part, He did.
So what the heck am I doing here in the Home Goods parking lot about to buy more THINGS while PEOPLE who genuinely need me today wait???
Many smart people have been able to hone in on this pervasive problem that is mine today and name it.
Jon Acuff, the bestselling author of Do Over and Finish calls it a “Hiding Place” – an activity you focus on instead of your goal or living out your true calling. Steven Pressfield in his highly acclaimed book The War of Art calls it the “Resistance” and describes it as a “toxic force that deforms our spirit” and keeps us from our truest selves.
That is definitely true for me. I’m hiding, resisting and avoiding. I’m avoiding the “messy” things in my life by running to a store. Because this is brainless, instant gratification. And, let’s be honest, there’s no REAL cost (because I believe if something costs you only money, it’s really no cost at all). Shopping is just dang easy.
The way of Jesus – the way of loving people with all of me – is rarely easy.
And as far back as Bible times, the earliest followers of Christ struggled with the same crap:
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Romans 7:15 -20
The apostle Paul doesn’t really go on at this point in the text to tell us how to respond when this happens, except to acknowledge it IS SIN living in us.
And we KNOW that we cannot overcome sin on our own. It’s just not possible.
We sin. We need a Savior. Period.
Holiness begins with knowing just how unholy we are. So that’s where we begin.
We acknowledge we are a sin-full people. We confess. We come clean.
WASH. RINSE. REPEAT.
Jesus – our holy washing machine.
I’m so thankful for a Savior who operates my rinse cycle – who puts my car in drive and pulls me out of the Home Goods parking lot so I can go home and do that which I know I’ve been called to and made to do.
Anyone else care to bravely share what things they do that they do not want to do? Are there things that pull you away from that which you know is right to do?
God was certainly in control that morning, you arrived early, so you had time to think about all this, and praise God He made it clear to you. The extra gas you used doesn’t matter, it’s the big picture and you made the right choice, way to go girl. Trust me, I’ve lived long enough to know that you won’t feel left out for not having those mugs, and it will keep you from bragging about them😂😂which is a sin you can now avoid!!!
I love you, Joyce! Whether you know it or not – you have taught me much over the years purely by example. Thank-you so much, friend!
Great writing Cindy! I am the inventor of time wasters and procrastination! We are a kindred spirit. I find the deeper I go into what God is calling me too, the easier and did I mention more rewarding life is!
Thanks, Sherry! So true – there is NO DOUBT that life is more rewarding and more ALIVE when we are doing that which we are called to do! Cheers to you for saying “YES”!!!
Really great post! I could use less time on my phone scrolling, for sure!! Thanks for writing!
Ooooo – Yes, Irina, that’s a big “hiding place” for me, too! Ugh. MUTINY TO THE iPHONE!!!
My list is huge of what I do rather than ….. thankful for friends who name it…. sin…. confess ,or wash rinse repeat as you have titled it 🙂
Yep. I think we all have a huge list… But to know we can be washed clean – white as snow even! – what a JOY and COMFORT!!!
Great insight Cindy-I find myself the older and hopefully wiser I get not even feeling the pull to things that I know will make me feel empty and guilty after. Maybe it was so many years of doing it and not feeling fulfilled that has helped me. They say better late than never, right? But don’t ask me about the plethora of other sins I’m still working on…..
Sweet Leisa – I so know what you mean. I think that’s why it’s my passion to write about this. I wish I had known in my younger years what a futile waste of time and waste of life it is to chase after things. I wasted much of my dwindling precious years on “things” and I can’t get those years back for anything. We don’t get do-overs. But, in Christ, we definitely get to start each day anew! Praise Him!
Love your writings – Always a surprise at the end
Thank-you so much, Lucy!
You’ve described me to a ‘t’ so much if the time. Appreciate the refocus. It’s my heart to put people over things. And sure do get off track as you’ve described.
Ahhhh – so true, Linda! Good thing we know the “Track Coach” who always puts us back on the track!!!
Ah, yes, thank you, Lord for the rinse cycle. And thank you for being honest and vulnerable.
Thanks, Alyson! We are all a people in desperate need of that holy washing!
Thanks for sharing Cindy.
We all need this reminder.
We all need to do more for people and family and friends.
The Holy Spirit sure worked in your heart that morning.
Love your writings, they make me laugh and cry at the same time.
Thanks, Sandra! I am often brought to tears and humbled to my knees when the Holy Spirit speaks so clearly. I long to live in that clarity every day – in all situations – but sadly, I still have a long way to go. Love you!